Thursday, April 26, 2012

48 Men's Thoughts on Porn


Together we are strong.
Last February when I wrote my first post about pornography, people dubbed me as “brave” and “courageous.”  I didn’t and still feel I didn’t deserve any of it, because I personally know dozens of men, and was tapped into some groups of hundreds of men, that I knew that were all fighting the good fight.  

I knew I wasn’t alone.

The more I researched, went to workshops across the country and heard, saw, and spoke to hundreds of hungry guys who wanted to break their habit, I realized a common denominator:

Many, many men feel alone in this battle.

 I realized that one of the biggest motivators men need is to know that there are other men out there who care about being stronger, who don’t accept that habitual pornography watching is part of what makes us men, and know that their lives are better without it.  It's one (of the many) reasons why I've been free from habitual viewing of pornography for more than a year now.

I decided that men need to know that there are other guys out there fighting, too. So I did everything I knew this week, including a call to men, to get as many guys as possible to give me their thoughts on porn.

I emphasized to these men that it wasn’t about claiming they were perfect about it, but it was about showing that they care, that they are trying and at least for one instance, they had hope. I told these men to sign it with as much as their full names, first names, initials, initial of their first name, or just plain blank anonymous.  I decided later that even if they left their full name, I’d keep everyone’s identity protected by just shortening their last name to its initial.  There were two men I left fully named, and that was only because they are already known publicly for fighting this battle.  
Did you know that one in four marriages divorce because of spouse's addiction to porn?
I then realized that we needed prayers, and who better to tap than holy women.  I sent out a call for women  to pray for all 48 men who are about to be exposed.  I created a Facebook group for them to congregate called Prayers for Purity.  Fellas, know that there are at least 24 women and at least two women’s groups out there praying for you, for us, and that tomorrow they all are going to pray a rosary for our purity this weekend. 

Join myself and other men out there who will be praying a rosary tomorrow, Friday, as well.

Below, are the real heroes, courageous men who have responded to the call.  Remarkably, all of them are Catholic (I have a strong idea that even the ones I don’t know are, too).  They live all over the country, the younger guys representing at least four different universities.   About 90% of these men are between the ages of 18-35.  There are four or five fathers in the mix, so they may be older; I did not ask their age.  Take out the older fathers, and the average age of the men who responded is probably around 22-23.

Most of these men, I don’t know very well or at all. This means I’ve either met them once in person or via e-mail for the first time.

For the small amount of guys I do know, (and this is probably true for the rest of the guys), they are normal, real guys.  These are guys who watch and play sports, enjoy hiking, smoke cigars, drink beer, play video games, play music, fart, laugh at inappropriate jokes, eat red meat, and any other stereotypical man activity. 

One final note, I do understand that that being truly successful at avoiding pornography isn’t about fighting each and every instance of temptation, but about filling our lives with enough goodness so there isn’t room to be tempted.  For now though, let the world know how these men think, care, and strive to be better.

Here were their answers to the two questions I asked them:

1.)    Pick a time you were tempted to look at porn, but was successful to resist that temptation. Why did you choose to avoid the temptation that moment? 
2.)    What did you do instead with that time?

I did edit some of them for length and grammar.  What is truly remarkable is that not a single guy saw anyone's else's response when he sent me his.  This will be read for the first time by everyone.  It's remarkable what they commonly say and attribute.  Receiving their responses was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences I have ever had in my entire life.  Here they are:


1.  I have been successful in avoiding pornography when I remember the times I have disappointed my Mother Mary, and resolve not to disappoint her again.  I remember how empty it makes me feel after, and I decide that there are better uses of my time. 
2. Often, I’ll end up just getting to bed earlier, or maybe I’ll do some homework or some reading.  My life is too short to fill with avoidable disappointment and grief.
-J

1. I avoided the temptation of pornography by thinking of the repercussions that my behavior would have on my current relationship, my future, and more permanent ones.
2. With that free time, I played video games to get my mind off it
-P.G.C.

1.I resisted because out of the corner of my eye I saw a mirror, I was the only one in it, and was hit by the undeniable truth that sexual intimacy is never sustained or truly realized unless it is shared. 
2. I took the anger/stress/depression that developed the initial urge for physical pleasure and used it to fuel physical exertion and positive emotional build-up by going for a long run.
-Andrew L.

1. I didn’t look at pornography because I knew how ashamed I would be if that person could see my unchaste thoughts.  Also, I know that people are not tools for my own gratifications.  Instead, they are gifts from God, and God would not want me to use His gifts in that way.
2. Instead, I prayed to my mother, Mary.
-E

1. I realized how much this addiction would damage and was already damaging my marriage and future relationship with kids.  I knew that my wife deserved a stronger man and I did not want my kids to grow up and learn of how weak their father was.
2. Instead, I played video games haha.  But not any with suggestive content! 
-Mike

1. I said no to pornography because I was already so tired from everything I had gone through that day.
2. I went straight to sleep.
-F.R.

1. I have found myself most successful at avoiding temptation by considering how my sinful actions would contribute to my goals and dreams.  Typically, I find that these sinful actions only destroy the self-image I’ve strived to achieve and lead me to more serious actions of sin that I knew would regret.
2.When I do manage to avoid temptation, I pray.  It is often that I find more constructive things to be doing with my time after I have prayed.
-Michael 

1. A time you were tempted- Just thinking back to the most recent time, because temptation can strike whenever; I chose to avoid temptation because I knew the self-loathing I'd have afterwords, knew that ultimately that wasn't who I wanted to be, and knew that wasn't what I wanted to have poisoning my relationships with women
2. Instead, I got away from the computer and watched TV to put my mind elsewhere.
-anonymous

1. I thought of what my little sister would think of me if she knew I had done it.
2. Instead, I turned off the computer, went down to the living room-so as not to be alone and tempted in my room-and just hung out with my family.  It got my mind off of the desire to watch pornography.
-Matthew Y. 

1.I didn’t look because I was already having a lot of productivity with my work.
2.My work and prayer
-anonymous


1.  The only times I've ever successfully resisted temptation were times when I first recognized the signs and avoided being by myself. The less I thought about it the better. The reason I resisted was because of the consequences of if I didn't.
-Anthony R

1. He gets us when we are alone, tired, and weak.  I quickly found something to do, someone to be with.
2. I played video games.
-Chris C.


1. Having an accountability brother whom makes all the difference. At one point, alone in the apartment, switching to autopilot because of work, the temptation arose. I had just been talking with my accountability partner, a classmate, the week prior about feeling free to text each other in moments of difficulty, and through God's grace . . .  [I] shot him a text. That itself was enough to make me awake, as it were, and his text urging me to get out of the apartment and offering me the chance to study with him was enough to snap my focus.
2. I went to the chapel. I prayed openly and candidly to God. I practiced some piano on the keyboard. I sang. I spent a good hour in the chapel getting some nourishment (and distraction, I guess). The thought didn't even cross my mind when I decided to come home to go to bed.
-Michael B.

1. I thought of Our Lady.
2.I wrote a paper for class.
-K.K.

1. I am successful when I recall the loneliness and emptiness that inevitably comes after the fall, and I don’t want to separate myself from God’s love. 
2.Instead of falling into sin, I run from the temptation, rather than fight it, and I try to be with other people
-Mike K.

1.I thought to myself that in the end this moment of "pleasure" would not make me feel any better.  In fact it would only make me want to turn away from God's Love feeling unworthy and empty.
2.  Made myself busy and went for a run.
 -M

1. I avoided temptation that moment out of respect for my significant other and that I see myself as an individual who is mentally stronger than my physical urges.
2. I went to gym and got my swole on
-Zack M.
1.I avoid the temptation of porn when I am capable of actually putting together what I am about to do. The idea that I am about to use others for my own pleasure, which is not something I would do otherwise, is a deterrent to me.
2. I fill that time often with a quick prayer, a walk or some other activity so I can process what just happened. And really it is to be able to process the victory that I had over sin in that moment.
-M.P.
1. I would tell myself no.  This will work sometimes.  But, in the long-term, I kept at it, and I eventually reached the point where I could successfully deny myself inappropriate desires, and have been able to for several years now.
2. I would play video games.  Though video games are engaging and would keep my mind from wondering, they also take up a lot of time.  I also like to be outside.
-Matt Z
1.I just know that I am happier when I choose God.
2. I kept studying and put a picture of my three sisters in front of me.
-John 
1. I would tell myself that I was not allowed to smoke the next day.
2.  I slept.
-Paul
 1. I chose not to watch pornography because it harms my relationships with my sisters and other friends who are girls.  It makes me weak, and it does not allow me to express love freely.  Without porn and masturbation, I can express my love freely and outwardly. 
2.I prayed and cried out to Mary.  I brought her everything.  I brought her into the heart of that temptation.  And she helps me win every time.  I haven’t struggled in three years now.  Sometimes I am still tempted, but the temptation has never been as strong.
-Hunter

1. I've avoided the temptation to watch porn and act out for almost two years because it destroys everything that is good and beautiful and brings you into a very dark world of isolation
2. All of the time I used to watch porn I now fill up with prayer, helping other men to be free of these chains and fostering a close relationship with God because without that connection to spirituality porn addiction is almost impossible to break
-Tim

1. Earlier today, the only reason I didn’t watch porn was because I ran.  I saw the temptation, I knew that there was no way I could be anywhere near a computer, I knew I was not nearly strong enough, so I ran the fuck out of there.  I got out of my empty dorm and into the cold rain.
2. Eventually I found my way to the chapel, and I did what I have often done: I turned to the Passion of Christ.  I remembered Jesus being scourged.  I remembered Him on the cross.
-Peter JDG 

By the grace of God, I've been clean for about six years and the specific memories, thankfully, have grown foggy.  For me, the three things that were critical to my victory were: getting rid of cable, getting to confession every time I fell and praying the rosary faithfully.
-Joe

1. Whenever I have the temptation to masturbate and watch pornography, the most effective way for me to resist this temptation is to pray to God.  After I am done praying, I am definitely less likely to do something knowing that I am in the eyes of God.
2. I prayed and watched TV.
-Kyle

1. I was too busy, distracted by other things in life.
2. Instead, I got stuff done.  I was productive.  I took steps to actually doing stuff with my life instead of wasting precious time.
-Frank K.


1. I chose to avoid the temptation because I love my girlfriend, and because I know it is empty.
2. Instead I read or just went about my day.
-your brother in Christ"

1.I had a lot of work to do the next day, and I didn’t want to make it worse by making myself miserable with guilt.
2.I just went to bed.
-Joe 

1.   Prayer helps me abolish the destructive thoughts. By asking the grace of our Blessed Mother and her intercession, she helps me become chaste and strong with my decisions. In addition, having a Spiritual Director who knows me from inside and out helps me to avoid temptations. If I ever fall into my temptations, however, I would be able to call my Spiritual Director to talk about it. This is the great thing about the sacrament of Reconciliation.
-Chris A

1.Because hearing my girlfriend cry breaks my heart, and I have an obligation to be fully open to her.  I can’t tell her anymore I am impure.
 2. .I did homework instead, and learned something new and beautiful about the world God gave us
-Joe J

1. I realized there was a life beyond this one
2. I held my finger on the power button to do a force shutdown
 -T


1.When I pray the Rosary anytime during the day, all I have to do is think about the Rosary and the temptation goes away. If I had not prayed the Rosary, this temptation can be overwhelming every now and then.
2.  I find that leaving the place where I am helps a lot, especially getting outside and fresh air. It is almost as if an aurora of seducing evil air fills the room sometimes, and it is as if I can barely get out of that grip of that place, but once I do I feel free from this temptation.  
-Jeff S.

1 .I hated it.  I knew it wouldn’t give me true satisfaction.  I realized that it was one of Satan’s lies. I had the urge to stop my addiction then and there.
2.I went away from my laptop.  I saw friends, went out to eat.  I kept my spirits high, and didn’t get depressed about things.  I knew my life would be better without pornography.
-MJH

I chose to resist the temptation because I knew I was called at that particular instant to actively fight any urge. What I did instead, was cling to Christ and Mary... literally. I held tightly in one hand a crucifix, and a rosary in the other.
-D

1. To avoid watching pornography, I remind myself that the person in there is somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister, somebody’s mother.  I think of the people in my life that hold those relationships and dread the thought of them being that position. One of the best things I found to avoid the temptation is I think of a girl, specifically one I may have a crush on or be talking to, and I imagine what her reaction would be if she saw what I was doing.
2. With the time, I do something I enjoy.  I draw, I read, many times I go for a walk and I’ll pray or just think and reflect.
-Billy G.

I allow myself to use my computer only in public places (to the extent that this is possible), where the temptation of pornography is usually eliminated for fear of embarrassment. Part of overcoming temptation is to avoid it as much as possible in the first place.
-Tim

So at this moment I can't think of the last time I was tempted but didn't use porn... sadly because on the rare occasion that I am... well, I don't remember winning.I knew of a guy who had a friend type a random password in his internet settings
-anonymous

For me, I found that I was seldom able even to recognize a temptation before I already found myself doing what I had sworn I wouldn't do again.  Finally recognizing my powerlessness over what was certainly an addiction, I found help and fellowship (and before very long, full recovery) in a 12-Step program called Sexaholics Anonymous.
-Matt P.

1.I was successful because I said a quick prayer and asked myself, "James, is this what you are really looking for in your life?  It's a lie and a counterfeit for what your heart truly desires."
2. I went upstairs and before I crashed I knelt down and said a prayer for my future spouse, asking the Good Lord to protect her purity, heal her of any wounds she might have and also asked that she pray for me and my purity so we could have a relationship that mirrors true and everlasting love. 
-James

1.Thanks to God, it has been over half a year since the last time I was tempted and failed. At the end, I chose to avoid falling into temptation because I understand that it separates me from God which just brings misery and unhappiness. I also chose to avoid temptation because it just feeds the mindset that women are things to be used by men to satisfy their lust.
2. I have been able to use the time pursuing more worthy activities like volunteering, joining youth groups, prayer and reading. In particular, I have increased my prayer time drastically as both a side effect of having extra time and also as a way to guard myself to fall into temptation.
One thing that I found most helpful of all was to join the Angelic Warfare Confraternity:
-Andre D.

1. I've achieved so much so far by only using my computer at work, and having no one in the house.
2. I went to sleep or read a book.  The images already obtained by looking at pornography are like tattoos, they will take years to forget.   As they fade they become more fierce in their attack on the mind, but I don't lose hope. I'm patient with myself. I try to be warm and affectionate and a new person will begin to grow as the old one fades away.
-James

So I don't really have any good moments to share with you. Thankfully that temptation has not been a huge trouble for me. I do struggle with purity, just not porn.
-Bobby

1.I remembered that each one of these women was someone's daughter and sister, and that my future wife deserved better from me.
2.I put myself (on purpose) in a room with other people and in that community was able to forget the urge and have a good time. Particularly, that time, I think we played MarioKart.
-Chris

I’m a 19-year old sophomore studying mechanical engineering. I play soccer, enjoy casual frisbee games, play guitar and work out every day like my ex-military dad taught me. . . I have never looked at pornography. . .
All I have to do is take a step back and look at my life. I only have a handful of years to live and love and serve others and create change... and then I’ll die, I don’t know when, but soon...
pornography is not, and never was, worth it to me.
-Nick O.


1. I resisted because Mass was the next morning, and I knew I wouldn't have time to go to Confession.
2. I turned off my computer and went to bed.
-Matt Aujero


1. Whenever I am tempted to look at porn (thankfully have been set
free from my addiction to both porn and masturbation for nearly 6
years now), I think of my children and my wife.  I work a lot from
home and I think of their presence in my home and I think of their
purity and chastity which I so desire for them and I vanquish the
thought.
2. I replace thoughts of porn or images in my mind with prayer.  I
pray for those women that I have objectified in the past.  For the
past girlfriends I pray for their healing and for their virtue.  I
pray for all the women that I have objectified in porn for their
conversion and release from the multi-billion dollar porn industry.
If they have died, I pray for the repose of their souls
-Mark Houck, co-founder of the King's Men

and finally...

 Hi Matt,
Great idea on the post!


Here's my 1,2 punch for temptations.


When I'm tempted to look at anything impure in public or in private, I try to remember that the beauty of women is an invitation to love them. So, I offer a Hail Mary not against my temptation, but for her.


Keep up the great work.
Jason Evert

------
 You may also like: Responses from "48 Men's Thoughts on Porn 



31 comments:

  1. Wow... suddenly I don't feel like I'm the only guy on the planet fighting this addiction. Like, I knew I wasn't but I never really felt like I wasn't...

    Here are my answers to make it 49

    1) Like many of your men responding here, I wanted to better myself if even only out of selfish self-betterment but also because I felt embarrassed in front of God. I find myself tempted A LOT if not everyday, it's something I've come to accept I'll have with me forever and the fight gets easier everyday.

    2) I managed to stop on and off, during the times I was off I noticed dramatic changes in myself, positive ones, I've not only improved my relationship with other people but also my self-image and that is something I find more attractive than any other addiction I can think of, I'd be NUTS to go back to porn, there's nothing there and everything out in the world to be had and that's what I'm finding out each and every day! God is good, so is the world and the people in it! Porn turned that image upside down, but now it's gone I'm not going back!

    Also, I had to laugh at all the guys who said they played computer games to beat it. I have to say I've done the same thing and it works! Helps when your computer is occupied with something else so you can't use it for porn!


    This was an amazing read, I have no idea who you are or anything else about you but I thank you so much for posting this blog.

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    1. Thank you for your comments and I appreciate your affirmation. Praise God. you had mentioned that your temptation is now gone. What did you do? What worked for you?

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  2. I sincerely thank everyone for their honesty.
    I feel so much encouraged knowing that I am not the only one fighting the same battle.
    I'd better use my time to read books and learn stuff for a better future!

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    1. I am encouraged as well. Free from habitual viewing for more than a year now and (not) counting. Let's both work towards a better future!

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  3. Really great post Matt. I'm really glad you did this and called us to come out and share our experiences with the world. I'm really proud of all the good men that headed your call.

    Keep up the good fight and I will keep everyone in my prayers. God bless.

    Your brother in Christ,
    - Andre

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    1. Thanks Andre. I'm really proud of all the men, too. They're the real heroes.

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  4. "1. I realized there was a life beyond this one
    2. I held my finger on the power button to do a force shutdown
    -T"

    Amen.

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    1. Ha yes, I've done that too a couple times. Now I just avoid being on the computer too late at night, and shut it down the moment I get any temptation.

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  5. Thanks so much! I ran into this article by accident, but it was exactly what I was looking for to show a friend. God bless all 48 of these men, and all others struggling with this addiction.

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    1. Still think it was an accident? Thanks for sharing, let's all continue to make sure this silent battle stays silent no more!

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  6. Thank you SO much for posting this article! As a Catholic young woman, I am so encouraged to know there are good, faithful men out there who are striving to say "no" to temptation and to honor women. Speaking as someone who was in a serious relationship with a man addicted to pornography and knows the devastating effects this has on relationships, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for having the courage to fight this battle. I will continue to pray for all of you and all those who are struggling with this addiction. You are not alone and it is worth the fight! Blessings, brothers!

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    1. Thank you for sharing, this means a lot. If you don't mind, I would love to hear more of your story, as I don't get many chances to speak to women on the other end of the addiction. I'd really like to know how it affects the relationship, especially a woman, in detail. It could be very helpful for others to know, too! E-mail at mattaujero@gmail.com if you feel compelled to share more. I hope you do.

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  7. Replies
    1. Thanks Trista. We just reached exactly 48 people on the Facebook "Prayers for Purity" page. How cool is that? http://www.facebook.com/groups/420742327955175/

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  8. Thank you for helping to restore my faith in men. Pornography use by my husband(he has stopped using it)has left me feeling less than a woman. I'm a mother, sister, daughter, aunt-- but I no longer feel like a woman. His pornography use took something from our relationship I fear we'll never get back. I wanted so much to be all he needed but I wasn't. I suppose, in time, I'll feel better. For now, I force a smile and hide in the bathroom when I need to cry. I don't want him to see me cry, it only makes him feel worse. I am broken.

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    1. Kirsten,

      I am sorry to hear that you have become broken and "no longer feel like a woman" because of the pornography epidemic that captures so many men. It's heartbreaking and I have said a prayer and have asked others to specifically pray for you and your healing tonight.

      On a good note, praise God that your husband stopped viewing! How did he accomplish this? Perhaps his story is what others need to hear and save other wives from feeling the way you do.

      If you'd like to tell me the whole story, please e-mail me at mattaujero@gmail.com

      Peace,
      Matt

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    2. Trust in God's mercy and forgiveness. He can heal all wounds and mend everything that's broken.

      I would like to recommend you 3 books that might help you and your husband:
      - Love and Responsibility by Karol Wotyla (a.k.a. John Paul II)
      - Men, Women and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II's Love and Responsibility by Edward Sri (this is a summarized easier to read version of "Love and Responsibility)
      - Called to Love: Approaching John Paul II's Theology of the Body by Carl Anderson and Jose Granados (this is a summarized easier to read version of John Paul II's "Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology Of The Body"

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  9. Funny how just reading through ALL your blog posts became my "distractions" (in a good way) whenever I'm tempted to view porn (which, sadly, has now consumed my being and left me so depressed sometimes). It's been about a week now since I discovered this blog. Whichever path you'll eventually take in your personal journey towards your calling, I hope you will continue to write and share them in this blog. Even if no one seems to notice. Last night when the urges came, I went back and re-read all the brave men's and your "agony in the garden" posts. It "distracted" me again and led me to open my bible(yes, I happen to have one placed around our Catholic images which I realize are there mostly for decorative purposes so I can't even remember the last time I even attempted to pray and meditate). So pray I did and the first page I stumbled into was a passage revealed to a king that he will be given another fifteen years to live instead of losing his life that day. God admonished him to put his house in order and make good use of the time he bargained for to remain alive. That time frame, it turns out from my readings, coincides with the life span I'm expected to live (given my chronic condition and present age). Is that God's revelation for me to turn back and seek a holier life? I don't know...but my point is I think He is using people and circumstances as instruments. So thank you...even if it would mean leaving my wife and two young kids fifteen years from now (I'm crying...what the heck!).

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    1. Thank you for your response! I don't know how this got lost last year, but I really appreciate it now. I soon will be posting a ground-breaking article on this in the next couple weeks. I wonder how everything is now.

      Peace and joy,
      Matt

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  10. I'd just like to say "GOOD JOB!!!" to these 48 men!!! Resisting pornographic filth is well worth it, and not to mention very possible with the help of Jesus and Mary. GOD made us all men to be MEN and be strong, and TRUE strength comes from the inside first; something has to click or explode in the heart before a Navy SEAL goes into combat and shoots away with his M4A1, and for most of us, our battles and opportunities for courage are spiritual. Trust me, ditching pornographic filth will be one of the best things a man will ever do. You see the world and it looks more beautiful, and when you see a beautiful woman, she looks more beautiful when you know that GOD made her for something more than lust. Pornography blinds us from seeing the obvious, while Christ strengthens us to see the unseen, and this strength that only GOD gives is what makes a man a MAN. I'm proud of all these men, for fighting and for sharing. GOD BLESS!!!

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    1. You're so right, we do get to see the world more beautifully. God bless to you too!

      Matt

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  11. Thank you all for your bravery in posting. If you think it would encourage men in their struggles against pornography viewing, lust, masturbation, etc. you should ask women readers to share more of their experiences. I am pretty certain the reason I was sexually assaulted by a date was due to a secret pornography addiction. He actually was conditioned to believe that a woman wants to be assaulted and that "no" means "yes". It's as if his brain has been fried.

    It's been a year, and I'm still struggling with the shame of being assaulted, and I hate that this is something in my life that I will one day have to share with my future husband. I also feel very sorry for the man I dated. He wants to become a husband and father, but unless he finds deep healing and freedom from slavery to lust, I don't think he'll ever be able to have a mutual, happy relationship with a woman. He is unwittingly destroying the chances of achieving the happiness and intimacy he seeks.

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    1. Hello there,

      I'm sorry I never got to see this response until now. I hope your struggle with the shame is better by now. E-mail me and update me! I'd love to hear your story.

      Peace and joy,
      Matt

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    2. Dear Anonymous, If you haven't already, check out Dawn Eden's book "My Peace I Give You" (http://www.amazon.com/My-Peace-Give-You-Healing/dp/1594712905). It's about healing from sexual sin (especially sexual sin forced upon us) with the help of the saints. I've also had the experience of being sexually assaulted, and the book is a wonderful resource for healing, along with the Sacraments, prayer and counseling. Innocence can be restored, God makes all things new. God Bless!

      Delete
  12. I didn't get a chance to send you my responses to your questions, so I'll answer them now.
    1) I struggled with porn and masturbation for close to 10 years. In that time, I had ups and downs--months clean, then spectacular failures. Throughout, I knew that it was wrong and I wanted to be free because I knew what it was doing for my relationships present and future. What finally helped me break free was a combination of entering into a loving relationship which I didn't want to tarnish with the specter of porn, removing internet from my house for over a year, and seeking professional counseling. I'm happy to say I've been pretty much free and clean for 2 years now, although I continue to struggle with purity in other ways.

    2)Now the time that I would have wasted on porn, I spend in a host of other activities--reading, TV, getting out and about, socializing, etc. It's amazing how easy it is to find better things to fill my time with and I often wonder where the day has gone.

    For all my brothers (and sisters) who struggle with the temptations, I pray that you will be strong and triumph. Know that you are not alone in your fight.

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    1. Thanks for your response! Isn't it great how much better our days can be without it?

      Peace and joy,
      Matt

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  13. Amen, gentlemen! I don't see too many female voices in this thread, but I just had to say how floored I am by your persistence against temptation and willingness to lay it all down for the women in your lives, particularly your future wives. Purity is a battle for sure, one that girls fight in their own way, and though it's not over until we reach Heaven, there's so much grace to be had right now.

    Here's my account of fighting the good fight:
    http://captivetheheart.blogspot.com/2012/04/love-is-battlefield.html

    You have my prayers!

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    1. Great blog post! I responded there!

      Peace and joy,
      Matt

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  14. Great article! For a great resource on this issue, check out purehopeblog.net!

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  15. Great thanks! I checked it out and it's definitely good along with enough.org which it links.

    Peace and joy,
    Matt

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  16. A good post to give encouragement to those who are struggling. One thing to think about: A vast majority of what is offered is mere coping mechanisms. If a guy wants to look at porn, he's going to get to it. He needs to kill the desire so when tempted, he can look right through it, realizing it for what it is -- a lie -- and move on. The key lies in learning how to see the body correctly, regardless of the state of undress. If you'd like to learn more, or know someone who's struggling, check out freedom-coaching.net.

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