Fight the New Drug

Fight the New Drug Video: My porn recovery story

***To see my featured talk "How Love Defeats Porn" given at the Catholic Information Center in Washington, D.C. click here. ***

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Wiki answer to Avoiding Pornography

The following is a great practical advice from I know a lot of guys, including myself, who have done all of the below.

I want to reiterate a recent statistic that just came out:
  One in four marriages divorce because of a spouse's "obsessive interest in pornographic Web sites." 

One in four. This is why I care so much.


How to Avoid Pornography

Edited byTiomarky and 49 others
Avoid Pornography
The Internet is a wonderful place. But it holds many temptations for many people. Online pornography, for example, can become a time-consuming addiction for a lot of people. If it's becoming a problem for you, here are some tips to help you break the habit.


Make the Decision to Stop

  1. 1
    Think carefully about why you want to avoid online pornography. What's important to you? Are you wasting too much time perusing adult sites? Are you concerned about how your behavior is affecting your family? Are you losing sleep? Are you becoming antisocial? Do you feel guilty because of religious reasons? Having a strong reason for avoiding pornography is a great motivator. If possible, make a list of reasons why you want to avoid porn, with the strongest reasons at the top. Review the list every morning and every night. (If you're worried about keeping this list on your computer, you can easily keep it locked up in a password-protected file.)
  2. 2
    Make a promise to yourself that you will try not to watch pornography. Making a promise will help set boundaries. If you need help, you can talk about it with a friend or a family member.
  3. 3
    Do your best to keep your promise. Habits are hard to break. If you feel like you're slipping, think about the benefits your abstinence has brought you.
  4. 4
    Look at yourself in the mirror. When you have tempting thoughts, look into the mirror and tell yourself that you are better than that.

Remove All Adult Material From Your Computer

  1. 1
    Get rid of everything on your computer that is even remotely related to pornography. Do not keep anything at all. If you have bookmarks to porn sites, delete them. Empty your cache and delete your history. If you are a member of a porn site, resign your membership. It goes without saying that you should stop renting pornographic videos or DVDs. And don't forget to disable your webcam if you use it for libidinous pursuits.

Reevaluate the Time You Spend on the Computer

  1. 1
    Don't spend lonely nights surfing the Internet. Try to go to bed at the same time as the rest of the family, or earlier.
  2. 2
    Try not to be alone in a room with the computer. Plan how much time you will use the Internet, and for what purpose. Follow your own guidelines. And remember, having broadband access doesn't force you to use the Internet all day long.
  3. 3
    Before turning on your computer, make a list (on paper) of all the things you want to accomplish. Methodically work your way through the list and turn off the computer when you're done. Afterward, get away from computer and make plans to do something else.

Get a Hobby

  1. 1
    Instead of spending so much time alone on the computer, develop an interest in something else. Develop a hobby, join the gym, spend time with your family, do some volunteer work. There are a million ways to spend your free time.
  2. 2
    Try to meditate for a few minutes during the day. This will help you focus on your goals.
  3. 3
    Think positive. By constantly telling yourself not to look at pornography it can keep the idea in your head. Instead of focusing on what not to do, focus on productive, enjoyable things you can do instead, even if it's as simple as something like a crossword puzzle.

Let Your Computer Help You

  1. 1
    Install software to filter pornographic web content (see external links below). It will help to protect you from stumbling into pornography by accident. That's important. If you are tech-savvy you can edit your hosts file to block your common haunts.


    • If you fall into the trap again, don't give up. Give it another try. Don’t stop trying.
    • Pornography addiction can be made worse by feelings of shame, loneliness, and hopelessness. If you seek out help and guidance and talk to your pastor, family members, and friends, you will probably find some emotional support that will help you. See if there are any support groups you can join.
    • After falling into the temptation again, go back and review what specific things might have triggered you. Eliminate all the things that caused the problem and you will have a more manageable task in stopping it altogether.
    • Try taking a cold shower or drinking cold water.
    • Plan specific activities that you will go do (go to the gym, read, paint, etc) the next time you feel like watching pornography.
    • Outdoor activities and sunshine will alleviate porn cravings. Take up good hobbies and sports like gardening, golf, running, swimming, walking, basketball, bicycling, chores, etc.
    • Religious people can reflect on their belief system for help and talk to others who share their beliefs, including church leaders.
    • During the day go over the list of reasons why you want to avoid porn and the list of things you will do to avoid a relapse.
    • Try to mentally categorize your life activities into three types: 1 - Green (safe activities that won’t lead you into temptation); 2 - Yellow (dangerous behaviors that could lead to porn, such as home alone channel-surfing); 3 - Red (activities that lead directly to porn use).
    • When you feel yourself moving into a "Yellow" zone, it is time to react: stop and find something safe to do instead.
    • How badly do you want to be free from porn? Becoming porn-free may entail sacrifice. Ask yourself: Do I really need the Internet at home? Do I really need cable TV? Or even any TV? That may seem fanatical, but if you don't have TV or Internet, your access to porn will be severely curtailed.
    • Don't spend time alone with the computer.
    • Install a filter/history program on your computer that someone you trust can use to hold you accountable.
    • Stick with reputable websites.
    • Try and use SafeSearch while searching.
    • If something looks questionable, don't let curiosity get the best of you. Delete it or close the window.
    • Be wary of sites that exist in countries with more lenient laws about Internet pornography. The last two or more characters of a domain name designate its country of origin (ie: www.somesite .de is a German domain name).
    • Be careful about going to any video sites like youtube; many videos there have at least soft porn. Stay away. if you must see a video, watch that one and then leave. Don't browse around.
  • Do not register for pornographic sites. Even if you delete a previous account, the site moderator will still have you on file.
  • Watch out for porn-oriented spam in your email. Filter and block it. Change your email address if it won’t stop.
  • Use filtered search engines or reputable directories to find the information you need.


  • Do not guess website addresses. Many pornographic sites have similar addresses of non-pornographic sites. Use a search engine instead.
  • Do not follow links in email that is unsolicited. If it is a link you want to visit, copy and paste it into a browser instead of clicking on it. Often spam and phishing email (Identify-and-Resist-Phishing-Bait) will hide script behind their links.
  • Do not open attachments in unsolicited emails. To secure against pop-ups and other bad scripts, use a free web-based email service to complete online registrations.
  • Do not search for ambiguous terms such as "girls," "pump," "bagel," or "pony." Think carefully before typing a key word search.
  • Avoid illegal websites offering Keygens, Cracks or illegal software. These websites usually have explicit pornographic banners that might tempt you.
  • Don't think that the number of days you have abstained is the most important thing. You can abstain for a year or more and still have a relapse. Although you should be encouraged if you've abstained for a long time, you're better off asking yourself: "How far away am I from porn right now?" In other words, beware of complacency.
  • Although getting help from a spouse is important, you need to think carefully about how and when to break this news. If your spouse doesn't know about your interest in pornography, it may be devastating news.
  • Too often, pornography advertisements exist on less-than-reputable sites that host topics related to software piracy, hacking, cracking, and online gambling.

EditAddiction programs

  • If you have developed a serious porn addiction, you should consider undertaking the principles used in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or other 12-step recovery programs that have helped many people overcome self-destructive compulsions.
What a porn-recovery program based on the 12 AA steps would entail:
    1. We admit that we were powerless over porn — that our lives had become unmanageable.
    2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
    3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
    4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
    5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
    6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
    7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
    8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
    9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
    10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
    11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
    12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to porn addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

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