My *unfiltered* voice memo about porn

Those who can't write...talk.

The other day a friend reached out to me with his struggle with pornography.  I was humbled with his sharing, and it reminded me that there are struggles at all stages in our battle for pure eyes, and there's still a fight to be had.  I responded to his message with advice I've acquired from research, wise men, other guys who have been successful, and my own meandering experience.  I noticed that I could've listed idea after idea, but I didn't want to overbear my friend.

Instead, the next morning I created a voice memo with my iPod with all the things I think about that helps when it comes to fighting the temptation of pornography.  I can't find the time to write anymore, and I wanted to get my ideas down somehow, so I recorded myself on my commute to work, starting from walking out the door, getting in the car, and driving to school.  

The memo is unorganized, sometimes not clear, and unfiltered (at one point I express a "c'mon seriously?" to a fellow driver).  I would say something, pause the tape, say something again, pause, and repeat.  Though it's kind of cool how sort of seamless it comes through.

A small disclaimer, I forgot a very important rule, which I think is the most important after prayer and it's guarding/bouncing our eyes.  I write a whole blog post about this, but the gist is that every desire towards pornography always begins with something small (staring too long at someone's butt, cleavage, you name it). If we can win this battle at the forefront, the desire of porn will be much easier to be avoided.

If you would like to read along with the voice recording, here's what I (am trying to) say:

#1: Be patient and gentle with yourself

#2: Get up each time we fall

#3: Fill our cup with good things (in our life) so there's no room for anything else.

#4: Avoid the near occasion (of sin.  This means if we fall late at night on the computer, maybe we should turn off the computer after a certain time.)

#5: It gets easier with momentum (trying to hint that the first goal is to build momentum, create more time between falls)

#6: Humble ourselves that no matter how successful we are, know that we can fall any day, even today, and every success is through God.

#7: The best fight is not fighting. Don't even think about it. (This is a direct correlation to #3)

#8: Admittance (that there's a problem, we need to do something about this) is half the battle.

#9: Surround yourself around the right type of guys (insert frustration at another driver here)

#10: Knowing that there are other guys fighting and want to be better helps.

#11: Accountability is always good. (Ex. Asking a guy to pray for you 100% does the trick that day.  Try it.)

#12: Pragmatic things like Web site blockers helps.

#13: Every man has his own personal motivation. (Here I reference 48 men's thoughts on porn.  After talking to many men about this, it's kind of neat that every guy has their own deep personal motivation.  I mention my past ones.)

#14: Being "holy" helps.  Sacraments (like Mass), prayer, helps.

#15: Confession.  Clean the slate.  Start over.  (I actually went yesterday, so glad I went.)

I conclude that it is possible, mentioning how Peter did the impossible of walking on water by only keeping his eyes on Jesus, and it was only when he let go of his sight of Him, that he fell.  A daily reminder.

Amén.