Fight the New Drug

Fight the New Drug Video: My porn recovery story

***To see my featured talk "How Love Defeats Porn" given at the Catholic Information Center in Washington, D.C. click here. ***

Monday, March 25, 2013

Out of Commission

A busy weekend of having the Mimi's and my parents meeting followed by getting food poisoning and recovering from it (having today off was a complete blessing) I feel I've been a bit out of commission.

I'm a bit humbled that anyone still comes to my blog even when I'm not writing.  It's no secret that Google analytics let's any Web page user see how many times his or her page gets visited, but I don't really know who exactly visits the page, and I'm actually quite convinced that Google searching sends a lot of random people my way by accident.

There are so many things I want to write about and I am continuously frustrated to not have time and/or not feel strong enough (insert food positioning, prayers please) to write.

As for now I'm going to get a small bit out, and with a stomach full of ginger ale and nothing to eat except hard boiled eggs this morning, I might come off as a little unfiltered.

First, humility.  In my big post about porn that went viral the other week, I forgot to explicitly mention a key ingredient---humility.

Once one gets some time on his or her belt between times of watching porn (from a couple of days to a week or more), one can get cocky, thinking he is "above" this.  Unfortunately it is at that moment when he puts his guard down because he or she thinks she doesn't need it, and falls again to one's dismay.

For me to get over that hump, I had to start telling myself, "Lord, I can fall any day, even and especially today.  I need you.  Please be with me"  After weeks, even months of being off porn, one would think that I wouldn't think about it anymore, and it might be true, I didn't think about the actual fight often anymore, but I definitely had to be aware I wasn't above it.

Anyway, since this paragraph and the last an hour has gone by as I had to get my laundry, finish cooking dinner, and eat it with my roommates. I was planning to write about love, and I hope to get to it eventually, especially the kind of love no one one wants to hear about ----between us and Jesus Christ.

For now, bed for me.  I'm drained.


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